• Terms of Use | Privacy Policy

Eat Move Make

food | travel | lifestyle

Follow Eat Move Make!

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter
  • about us
  • recipes
  • travel
  • fitness & health
    • health
    • free workouts
    • buy chanelle’s eBook!
    • shop chanelle’s faves
  • pets
  • crafts & DIY
  • lifestyle
    • entertainment
    • home decor
    • productivity
    • style & beauty

Staresy and Fartinson: a travel story

June 20, 2009 By Liz 44 Comments

As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

  • Share
  • Tweet
  • Pin

Let’s talk about airplanes. They are unpleasant. The air is stale, the bathrooms smell like poop and sweat, and there is no angle at which the seats are remotely comfortable. I also think they should offer free tequila…but I digress.

The last time I flew, I was on my way to San Francisco to present some research. I was traveling with a fellow student, but I didn’t get to sit by her for some reason. Instead, I was placed in the dreaded 3-seater side of the aisle. Between two women I’ll call Staresy and Fartinson.

When I got to my seat, Staresy was already there, in the window seat. I sat down and got out my iPod, anxiously awaiting the ‘ding’ that meant electronics were good to go. And then Fartinson walked up. She struggled to stuff her huge carryon into the overhead bin, while I was lodged between her…well you know. The grunting and puffing was making me uncomfortable. Finally she sat down.


After I had the okay to turn on my tunes, I was content. Until I noticed that my window-seated counterpart was staring at me. Watching my every move. If I changed the song on my iPod, she checked to see which one was next. If I decided to take a look at my raggedy issue of SkyMall, so did Staresy.

Meanwhile, to my right, Fartinson was starting to rumble. Something terrible was brewing. And a few minutes later, I smelled it. A few minutes later, I smelled it again. It was like one of those timed air fresheners set to go POOF every few minutes.

I hate planes. But here’s some proof that I made it okay (me by my research).


MyFreeCopyright.com Registered & Protected

Filed Under: Uncategorized

About Liz

Liz is a midwestern mom gone southern (accent in transition). She lives in North Carolina and loves cooking, baking, traveling, movies, crafts, hot and cold tea, wine, pizza and the occasional nap. She also revels in the fact she's a crazy cat lady.

Comments

  1. Justine says

    June 25, 2009 at 1:29 am

    Whoa cool, didn't even know your name was Suz. Didn't even know you were black! ROFL! Well hey, I've never seen a pic of you! You're beautiful!
    Sorry about the staring lady and the farter.

    Justine 😮 )

    Reply
  2. Yaya says

    June 23, 2009 at 12:54 am

    Oy! Planes are so germy. I always clorox wipe my seat. Literally.

    Reply
  3. The Jacobsen Family! says

    June 22, 2009 at 10:56 pm

    LOL!!! What a bummer! Hope the flight back was/is better!!

    Reply
  4. Kristen says

    June 22, 2009 at 10:24 pm

    I am so sorry. If I knew you were going to blog about it I would have taken my Immodium, TUMS and GasX. Excuse moi for having bodily functions…lol! Hope it wasn't a long flight 🙂

    Reply
  5. Tiaras & Tantrums says

    June 22, 2009 at 3:42 pm

    grrr – I only travel with babies now – can't be much worse, right?

    Reply
  6. Tiaras & Tantrums says

    June 22, 2009 at 3:42 pm

    grrr – I only travel with babies now – can't be much worse, right?

    Reply
  7. Tiaras & Tantrums says

    June 22, 2009 at 3:42 pm

    grrr – I only travel with babies now – can't be much worse, right?

    Reply
  8. Tiaras & Tantrums says

    June 22, 2009 at 3:42 pm

    grrr – I only travel with babies now – can't be much worse, right?

    Reply
  9. conversationswithmoms says

    June 22, 2009 at 10:04 am

    I feel your pain. I always get the one that falls asleep and then the person's head falls on my shoulder. The drooling comes next.

    Your research looks so detailed. Great first post.

    Reply
  10. Kelly's Ideas says

    June 22, 2009 at 6:32 am

    Funny – I hate planes too. I always sit next to Mr. Stinky or Mrs. Sweaty…yuck
    Love,
    Kelly
    http://www.ivebecomemymother.com

    Reply
  11. Bee and Rose says

    June 22, 2009 at 4:21 am

    You poor girl! I'm so happy you survived to tell the tale! Your research is impressive!

    Reply
  12. Kristen Andrews says

    June 22, 2009 at 2:44 am

    oh yuck, but u made it through it.

    Reply
  13. Joy says

    June 22, 2009 at 2:30 am

    Ooooh yucky. But you ended up no worse for wear, fortunately. In fact you'd never know by the photo what you had just been through!

    p.s. what does good towel mean?

    Reply
  14. Octamom says

    June 22, 2009 at 2:13 am

    Look at that snazzy research! Wowza!

    Maybe it's time to do some airplane neighbor trend research~

    Blessings!

    Reply
  15. Jen says

    June 22, 2009 at 2:07 am

    planes are just yucky!

    Reply
  16. Vickie says

    June 22, 2009 at 1:56 am

    Suz, this was funny! Just like ya momma:)

    Most of the time I don't mind flying, but this would have totally turned me off to it. Ewe:p

    Reply
  17. Kathleen W. says

    June 22, 2009 at 1:52 am

    That cracks me up, but at the same time, poor you! I was rolling about the timed air freshener thingy!

    Reply
  18. Alexis AKA MOM says

    June 22, 2009 at 1:25 am

    First off YEAH … I'm so excited to see your smiling smile! Thanks so much for stopping by 🙂

    YUP not a big fan of flying here either! Glad to see you all well and looking great :).

    Reply
  19. Storm says

    June 22, 2009 at 12:02 am

    Nice to meet you, Suz. You are such a cutie. Hilarious story.

    Reply
  20. Veronica Lee says

    June 21, 2009 at 9:44 pm

    LOL, you definitely have your mum's humour!!!

    Reply
  21. Abby says

    June 21, 2009 at 8:51 pm

    Oh my this made me laugh, thanks I needed it today!

    Also thanks for stopping by my blog come back over any time!

    Reply
  22. Stesha says

    June 21, 2009 at 6:59 pm

    OMG! When I read their names I laughed through the entire post.

    So funny!

    I'm talking to myself and laughing out loud as I write this comment.

    No need to worry. I didn't answer myself.

    Hugs and Mocha,
    Stesha

    Reply
  23. kel says

    June 21, 2009 at 6:51 pm

    Well, how cute are you??? Love that shot!

    And I feel for you with your plane buddies!

    Reply
  24. Six Feet Under Blog says

    June 21, 2009 at 3:30 pm

    I totally hate flying and havent flown for years!

    Reply
  25. wife.mom.nurse says

    June 21, 2009 at 12:50 pm

    lol!

    I am up to speed now on this blog partnership…

    started out confused wondering how Blueviolet had an ipod on her first flight…lol

    sounds like a couple of real winners…poor thing

    flying does suck!

    🙂

    Reply
  26. Pseudonymous High School Teacher says

    June 21, 2009 at 7:15 am

    I usually love to fly, it means getting off the rock for an adventure. But this was an icky story.

    A pet peeve of mine is people who carry on dead weight, barely fit up there bags. Ifear one will fly out during turbulence and take off my head.

    Reply
  27. Firefly@www.firefly-shop.org says

    June 21, 2009 at 5:29 am

    LOL the joys of flying 🙂

    Reply
  28. NateAndJakesMom says

    June 21, 2009 at 3:27 am

    So I am reading this in my email, since I am a subscriber and all, and get all aflutter knowing I will be seeing the one, the only, blueviolet in the flesh again.
    I eagerly click on the link, wait for the picture to load and think. "Holy crap! She looks just like her daughter."
    I am so incredibly slow.

    You are just as witty as your mum. I am sure she is so proud. I am not surprised, but profoundly jealous.

    Reply
  29. Diane says

    June 21, 2009 at 3:23 am

    well congrats on getting there all in one piece! i hope your presentation went well.

    Reply
  30. The Wife O Riley says

    June 21, 2009 at 2:02 am

    This is the exact reason we all need our own private jet! I'm lobbying government.

    Reply
  31. Krystyn says

    June 21, 2009 at 1:35 am

    Oh, gross and yuck!

    I hate traveling by myself (or sitting by myself) with strangers. For some reason, people feel like you are besties on a plane!

    Reply
  32. Devri says

    June 21, 2009 at 12:48 am

    Welcome back to the bloggin world! you were missed!

    hey, go enter to win a IPOD Touch on my blog! hurry! hugs

    Reply
  33. annie kelleher says

    June 21, 2009 at 12:29 am

    hahah – of course i remember you and welcome back to cyberspace and ty for refollowing my blog i should say! xox…. annie

    Reply
  34. Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) says

    June 20, 2009 at 11:31 pm

    Those are the precise reasons why I don't like to fly, either…unless I can pre-reserve a window seat so I can lean into the wall and hide behind my book if I get an unpleasant person sitting in the middle. Glad you made it safe and sound – if not feeling creeped out by Staresy and hopefully Fartinson's smell didn't linger on you. 😉

    Reply
  35. Alicia says

    June 20, 2009 at 11:26 pm

    Haha..now I know your mother's humor has passed on to you as well!!!

    Reply
  36. ♥ bfs~"Mimi" ♥ says

    June 20, 2009 at 11:15 pm

    Every time I fly, I think to myself, this will be the last time….

    Reply
  37. Chocolate Covered Daydreams says

    June 20, 2009 at 11:12 pm

    I would've fanned my nose each time Fartison let loose. As for the nosy busy body, you could've just played dj and told her what each song was that was coming on.

    Reply
  38. Amy says

    June 20, 2009 at 11:06 pm

    I just did the plane thing. When you travel with a child the stares you get. Like know one wants to sit by you. Don't they remember they were small once?

    Reply
  39. Mommy24cs says

    June 20, 2009 at 4:14 pm

    LOL, that is why I try and get the aisle seat whenever possible and make sure someone is traveling with me so I can stick them by the random person haha

    Reply
  40. Cinnamon says

    June 20, 2009 at 4:03 pm

    Ugh! That is THE WORST! The only thing more traumatic (at least to me) is the puker. I can not deal with that whatsoever!
    PS- How adorable are YOU?
    🙂 Robin
    cinnamon & honey

    Reply
  41. Tami says

    June 20, 2009 at 4:00 pm

    LOL, this is why I don't fly!

    Reply
  42. Suz says

    June 20, 2009 at 3:41 pm

    @LadyStyx – lol, my boyfriend is a major Fartinson himself.

    Reply
  43. LadyStyx says

    June 20, 2009 at 3:26 pm

    Neighbors like that….*ugh*. The one sounds like traveling with my husband…and I don't mean the staresy one.

    Reply
  44. •´.¸¸.•¨¯`♥.Erin.♥´¯¨•.¸¸.´• says

    June 20, 2009 at 3:15 pm

    Ick and creepy. I hate flying too, but for more anxious reasons. I don't think I'd want to sit in between two strangers – Especially Staresy & Fartison.

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Liz and Chanelle | EatMoveMake.com

Eat Move Make is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon properties including, but not limited to, amazon.com, endless.com, myhabit.com, smallparts.com, or amazonwireless.com.

This means that some posts may contain affiliate links. We earn a small commission when you purchase through these links, which helps us create more great content! Full terms of use here.

Copyright © 2019 Liz Mays