Social media is great for many things. You can use it to connect with likeminded people, learn new things, and find inspiration. But it can also be dangerous, because through a slightly different lens, the same things that inspire you can make you feel completely inadequate.
I recently put my name in a hat, along with several other of my bodybuilding teammates, for the opportunity to represent a company at their booth at a big fitness expo. I was not selected, and the girls that were selected happen to have a very specific look and persona that is basically the opposite of my own. They are buxom with lovely long hair and have big portfolios of many sexy photos. Initially, I was really offended. Why should I have to have long hair and boobs to be seen as worthy/beautiful/marketable?
But scrolling through the Instagram feed of this company, I realized that I can never be the kind of person that fits their brand. Sultry is not who I am. Sporty? Yes. Funny? Yes. So why beat myself up if a company’s mission doesn’t match mine? Someday I’ll be sponsored by a company that fits my personality and look perfectly.
The lesson in all this is to stay true to who you are. If you’re not a skimpy sexy bikini photoshoot type of person, then don’t do skimpy sexy bikini photoshoots! If it’s difficult and stressful for you to put on enough muscle for the figure division, switch to the bikini division! Listen to you. You are the expert on you.
So here are 4 things to remember so you don’t get caught in the social media comparison trap:
Photoshop exists. There are so many ways to retouch photos using your mobile device that it’d make your head spin. I like following fitbody_britt and cali_aesthetics on Instagram because they call out the worst photoshopping offenders. I don’t like that they use bullying as their approach, but I follow them because they remind me to take everything I see online with a grain of salt.
No one is as perfect or as happy as they seem on social media. Most people use social media to share the high points of their lives. So when you take a broad look at someone’s posts, it might seem like they have the perfect life. But really, it’s just a highlight reel.
Don’t compare your Day 1 to someone else’s Day 365. When you look at someone who is where you want to be someday, you don’t see all the failures and bumps in the road that they had to go through to get to where they are. They were probably in your shoes once! I like to post then/now comparisons on Instagram frequently to remind myself how far I’ve come and to show other people that I didn’t just wake up one day and magically look like I do now.
No one can be you better than you can be you. You’re the best you there will ever be, so take advantage of your you-ness. What are you giving to the world that no one else could give?
I’m pretty excited because I placed the order for my new competition suit this week! It’s a different color than the one I have now and is going to be MUCH sparklier so I can make a splash on the pro stage. Ahhh, I can’t believe I’m only 9 weeks out!
Here’s the latest bod comparison! I think I’m looking leaner than last week. Could be the lighting though!
Akhil Sharma says
I don’t know why people compare. One needs self motivation and enough self confidence, and these things will not leave irking impacts.
Tori Gabriel says
Exactly! It is important not to compare your shadows to someone’s sunny days. No one will ever publish a picture they don’t find flattering but I guarantee every has these photos. Don’t forget ” no one can make you feel inferior without your consent”.
Chanelle says
I really love that quote!
Jennifer Pilgrim says
Yes, you definitely look leaner. I can relate with the comparison struggles. I am always having to remind myself of everything you mentioned.
Kathy Kenny Ngo says
Hot hot hot! You are fine girl. You are more than fine. Brands always have a look in mind so if one doesn’t fit you, its not you. Really, it isn’t. You look sooooooo good and I’m a woman.
Keep up what you’re doing and the right brand will be there soon.
Kelly Hutchinson says
I have been comparing myself to others for as long as I can remember. You would think at my age I would have stopped by now!
Crystal says
I just checked out those Instagram accounts you mentioned and I’m cracking up. I see so many people’s photos online and they’ve photo shopped their face so much that it’s almost a blur!
Joanne says
I was in the fitness industry for a long time and it’s super important to stay true to who you are!
Kiwi says
What social media trap are you in?? Your body is beautiful and you are beautiful so what brand wouldnt want you??? There freaking loss majorly!!!
Christie says
Always stay rooted in yourself and your foundation! Great reminders for all of us using social media
Toughcookiemommy says
I agree with you, it is important to stay true to who you are. I think you will find the right brand to collaborate with and they will love you exactly the way you are.
Jessica Harlow says
I try to avoid that social media death trap, but it is rampant and I see people getting sucked in all the time (personally and professionally). I’m so glad you realized that company may not be the best fit for you anyways. You will find the perfect match and just because that company didn’t fit doesn’t undervalue your worth at all!
Miles L. says
Same here! I can exactly related to this media comparison trap. Thanks for this insightful blog post.
Star Traci says
I have been known to get very caught up in the comparison especially in this world of social media. Likes, page views, and click-thrus compounded with beautiful pics, perfectly performed crafts, etc. can really hit my self-esteem. Thanks for the reminder.
You look amazing, btw. I am inspired to get healthier and stronger. I’m nowhere near day 365 but maybe day ten will look better than day one!
🙂
Traci
Chanelle says
Yeah! Awesome attitude 🙂
Amber says
It’s hard not to compare yourself to others whether it’s on social media or offline. But as you said it really about staying true to yourself. Sometimes we need to remind ourselves that we are awesome!
Brandy says
This is such a great post, too often we compare ourselves to others and you never know what photo online has been photoshopped! Glad you opened up discussion on this!
Louise Bishop says
I totally have at a time or two in my life until I realize that everyone is unique and if we all looked the same then the world would get pretty boring.
Kim Croisant says
Not really – I”m in my fifties and I really don’t care about that stuff. I’m happier than I’ve ever been.
Loriann Cargill Bustos says
I just went through this with a close blogging buddy. She had a similar experience and it was heartbreaking to watch her get down on herself. We should be building each other up, not making things harder all the way around!
Ave says
It’s really easy to get caught up in the social media trap, but I try to keep in mind that not everything that we see there is correct. So I try be realistic. Can’t wait to see your new competition suit!
Jeanine says
Social Media drives me nuts. But I love it, and you almost really need it when blogging. Your tips are pretty fabulous, So true – no one is as perfect as they appear on SM and I think a lot of people forget that!
Amanda says
It is definitely easy to get caught in the comparison trap! Remembering that others are on different parts of their journey is a great tip!
Toughcookiemommy says
You are so right, Amanda. It’s important to not compare yourself to others because there is only one of you. All of that is certainly part of the journey to self-acceptance.
Tonya C says
Wow! Bodybuilding isn’t something I would get into personally, but you girl…are rocking it! Keep paving your own path!
Valerie says
First, you look fantastic. Second, it is so easy to get caught up in comparisons. I try to just be myself and focus on that.
Laurie says
It’s still disheartening when you don’t get chosen for something. But its true you need to be the best you
Miles L. says
You’re amazing just the way you are. We all have our own unique beautiful features and we should not compare.
Carol Bryant says
Well you look fantastic. I had to look twice because I thought it said “Pre-op” and needed to re-read. LOL Great read about living true to yourself with no comparisons!
Ana Fernandez says
Comparison could be hurtful because as you said… dont compare your day 1 to day 365 of others.. so true!
laura londergan says
yes guilty! I often find myself comparing on a weekly basis & it can be so hard to shake but trying to remember we all started at diff. times does help.
Bri says
I have gotten caught in this trap, but I quickly got out of it because it was not beneficial to me at all. I will get to where I want to be in time.
Lois Alter Mark says
This is such an important message and a great reminder. It’s so easy to compare yourself to what you see people doing on social media but there’s nothing to be gained in that!
Ann Bacciaglia says
It is hard not to fall into that trap. You look amazing and so what if you are not the cookie cutter look they wanted. I think it is better to be different.
Claudia Krusch says
Comparison online is not healthy! I do it, but immediately tell myself, nobody is like me and that what is out there for me, it is for me only! Love the way you look!
Kristen from The Road to Domestication says
You make some great points! And I agree, no one is ever as happy as they portray themselves to be on social media. But I look at it this way: there’s so much awful stuff in the world…I like to see people be happy as much as possible. So I eat it up 🙂
Jonathan Key says
This is such a refreshing post! The second point really hit home with me. I have this shirt that says something to the effect of “May your life someday be as awesome as you pretend it is on Facebook.” I’m reminded when I get on Pinterest or Facebook that people typically only let you see what they want you to see. Life is typically very messy.
I also liked the reminder not to compare your day 1 with someone else’s day 365. As a blogger I know a lot of people have had a ton of success. It’s good to remember that each of us is on a journey and life takes time. Keep up the great work! Just be you. I love you and your mom’s blog Channelle!
Seattle Travel Blogger says
This is a great post and important to keep in mind – especially all the photo-shopping going on.
Your stomach looks more defined this week over last.
I am sure you will get your proper company sponsor match sometime.
Doran @ Haute Beauty Guide says
I get caught up in it all the time. I am glad someone else gets it. I agree it hurts at first but we can be everything to everyone. So we just have to be true to ourselves.
Ashley @irishred02 says
I try not to compare myself to others. I know how crazy my life is that is off camera
Kristi says
A great post… That is the tough part of the internet as a whole… everyone can pretend to make their life be something it’s not or create themselves to be all positive and no negative. Neither of which is realistic… and hard to wade through to find the real info sometimes.
amer says
very inspiring article.. but I have to admit I’m jealous of your discipline.
Neely (@Neelykins) says
Comparison online is the worst. I do it to myself way too much!
Emma White says
some great tips and reminders here I think we are all guilty of this at times
Tamara says
It sounds like you have a great perspective. And I often come to your blog and marvel at how you look – with your great haircut and strong, healthy physique.
Gloria @ Homemade & Yummy says
Honestly I think too many people take the whole social media thing way beyond what they should.
michelle says
i think instagram can really be the root of envy for a lot of people because pictures don’t always tell the real story. you might see a perfect picture but don’t know that horrible news was delivered right before or after or something else. i just try to stay positive and focus on my goals
Adriana says
This is definitely something I think everyone struggles with at one point or another! Totally agree!
Pam says
It can be really hard not to get stuck in the comparison trap. I try to remember that people only post their best sides!
Shaylee says
I think everyone gets stuck in this trap! On one hand it helps us to keep working hard to obtain goals but on the other hand it can just leave you feeling frustrated and angry!
Alicia Taylor says
You are stunning and gorgeous. I bet women compare themselves to YOU!
I get what you are are saying though – yes, social media can be hard. I avoid gyms (even though I am a yoga junkie and in great shape) because I am always afraid there will be one jerk with a camera looking to make someone an internet meme. I also get tired of “skinny shaming” as much as I am tired of “fat shaming.”
Chanelle says
Great point. It’s hard to in public without the fear of being judged for one reason or another!
Heather D. (@GirlGoneMom) says
I’m glad you didn’t stay down on this one. You have a unique look and you rock at being you.
Catherine S says
I think we have all been caught up in that trap at some point in time. You look amazing and your hard work is paying off.
Lawrence Hamilton says
I dealt with it face to face often enough that I never really gave a shit about digital critics. I’m not everybody’s cup of tea and everybody ain’t my favorite shot of liquor. Anyone can get or buy boobs, ass implants and hair and take an Instagram selfie. No talent is required for that. Bodybuilding requires a whole lot more. Conditioning. An understanding of Food and diet intake. Marketing. Charisma. I tell any and everyone “Do what you love to do and enjoy your life.”
Chanelle says
Totally agree with you. It’s the part that people don’t see that matters.
Scott says
I think we all get caught in that trap. Jealousy is part of human nature after all!
Catherine S says
I agree, jealousy is part of human nature. I never thought about people editing the photos they use on social media and other sites.
Charlotte says
You look amazing–and you know what? It’s their loss. We’ll never live up to everyone’s expectations and trying is just exhausting. What’s most important is that we’re happy in the skin we’re in 🙂 Congratulations on all of your successes and thanks for introducing me to new Insta accounts to follow 🙂
Stacie @ Divine Lifestyle says
I’m always astounded that people photoshop themselves. It’s not like you can hide how you really look walking down the street! Speaking of how you look, you are doing awesome. I can really see the definition coming out now.
Chanelle says
Exactly! The scariest thing is when people use their photoshopped images to sell products. “You can look like me if you buy X!” When really, it’s impossible to achieve except through photoshop. Also, thanks for the encouragement!
Rosey says
I haven’t, but only because I’m in my middle 40’s now. When I was younger I strongly suspect I would have been affected. I see my 17-yr.-old daughter getting affected. I wish I could make her see how unimportant it really is, but she puts a lot of stock on peer evaluation (even in social media). I know she’ll outgrow it, but I wish for the sake of her heart that I could make it happen sooner rather than later.
Good for you for seeing it what it is… you look amazing, I have zero doubt that you’re right about finding a sponsor soon. They’ll be lucky to have you and you’ve already got a ton of us supporting you.
Carol Cassara says
It is amazing that even someone as gorgeous and fit as you can have those same experiences. It is their loss.
Michelle Gwynn Jones says
No one can be you better than you can be you – that is so true. And trying to be someone else takes so much energy, wasted energy.
Elizabeth O. says
I love the message, it’s definitely important to stay true to who you are. That’s what makes you stay passionate about your chosen career longer. I’m glad you saw this in a much positive light. You are very admirable. Always be proud of who you are! <3
MB says
And you’re definitely looking leaner. Keep going!!!!
Chanelle says
Thank you! XO
Ana De- Jesus says
Well I think you look beautiful just the way you are so it is their loss! I love that you stay true to yourself x
MB says
I tell my friends all the time who say, “I want to look like her or have quads like her or glutes like her,” that what we see on social media is not always the complete TRUTH. Also, these photos are often taken when athletes are in peak condition and are not necessarily looking like that year round. But I am guilty myself of comparing where I am at 12 weeks out to where another competitor is. Mind you, she might have been in the bodybuilding industry longer than me , came out of off season with less fluff than me or I might be comparing my physique to a pro or more seasoned competitor. Either way, it can cause more stress than it’s worth. The key for me is to learn to trust the process, embrace and love me and my physique in all phases of the process and use individuals such as yourself as motivation, but my assignment on a daily is to compete against myself. Thanks for your transparency. This is such a DOPE post!
Robin Rue (@massholemommy) says
I couldn’t agree more. People put what they want us to see out there, but that’s not always the real story.
MB says
Absolutely. The one thing I try to always convey to anyone who inquires about my personal journey is the cold and hard TRUTH. My reality is that I have some good days, where I feel like I crushed my workout day, felt organized, ate all my meals, killed my cardio sessions, and I have others where I felt weak, tired, hangry and completely out of it….literally a HOT mess.
This lifestyle is WORK in and out of the gym. Oh and I think, based on what’s presented on social media, folks assume that athletes just want to eat, sleep and breath the gym. The gym is and will always be my happy place, but there are days when I just want to be home, wrapped up in a blanket and eating chocolate. LOL
Chanelle says
Absolutely! Social media is not real life, no matter how real it looks. Everyone is on their own path.
Robin Rue (@massholemommy) says
Yup, I get caught in that trap all the time. I always try to be real on my social media (especially on IG), but I find myself looking at other people and wondering why I don’t measure up sometimes. Or maybe I do, but it looks like I don’t.