It’s pretty plain to see that bodybuilding is a…shall we say, different, lifestyle. Why would anyone willingly go to the gym to do manual labor in order to induce muscle soreness…every single day? Or get a spray tan that deepens their skin tone by at least 10 shades?
Well, just like how kids like Apple Jacks even though they don’t taste like apple, we just do! Bodybuilding is a gratifying sport. You lift weights, you gain muscle. You eat less carbs, you lose fat. It’s both an art and a science, like sculpture and chemistry combined.
I’m sure you’ve seen tons of “you know you’re from Michigan when” or “you know you’re a mom when” lists. Well, here’s my humble addition; my roundup of all the weird things bodybuilders do with submissions from my bodybuilder friends @eesleetah, @asd_sinfonian, and @lc__nutrition. And also my mom and boyfriend who have to put up with me all the time.
You Know You’re a Bodybuilder When…
▶︎You have two wardrobes: competition-mode clothes for when you’re tiny and lean, and roomier clothes for when you’re offseason. Actually, PSYCH no you don’t, all you wear is spandex and Nikes.
▶︎You carry a giant lunchbox to work and eat full-on meals in the middle of meetings. “Didn’t you JUST eat?!” “Yep.”
▶︎You’re constantly studying half-naked pics of other people on Instagram in a completely nonsexual way and you’re oblivious to why that might seem inappropriate to do in public.
▶︎You’re not getting fat, you’re “bulking”.
▶︎You completely innocently try to carry unmarked white powder on planes. “But officer, it’s just whey!”
▶︎All of your nice shirts and jackets are busted at the seams but you’re happy about it because it means you’re making gains
▶︎If you don’t take an Amanda Latona booty pose selfie, the workout didn’t happen.
▶︎You prepare 28 meals at once just for one person.
▶︎When someone interrupts you while you’re trying to savor your only spoonful of peanut butter that day, you put the spoon down and resume the foodgasm once they’ve left.
▶︎Shitty recipes like BCAA jello are manna from heaven. If you close your eyes it kind of tastes like dessert?
▶︎Dixie cups aren’t for drinking. They’re for punching holes through the bottom and peeing into.
▶︎You unabashedly eat fish on airplanes. #YOTO – you only tilapia once.
▶︎Eating has become a chore.
▶︎You ask others if you can smell their food for pleasure.
▶︎Standing in the middle of a room like a gingerbread man completely naked surrounded by other naked gingerbread men doesn’t phase you. Spray tan life.
▶︎You order venti zero-calorie drinks at Starbucks that veteran baristas tell you they’ve never once made before.
▶︎You think rice has a flavor and you enjoy that flavor. TASTES LIKE GAINS.
And here’s the latest comparison! Plus a bonus comparison with the progress pic I took before beginning this prep:
Any other weird things bodybuilders do? Let me know in the comments!
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